Life

A deeply personal journey of overcoming submechanophobia, childhood trauma, and learning to swim at age 35. From terror of water tanks to swimming 700m in sessions.

Note This post should have photos of the things I fear. It does not because I’m terrified to look at them. I do have photos of me in swimming gear and my pool, but by learning to swim, I have not conquered my fear. I merely face it. If you want the TLDR of this post, you might want to check out my detailed swimming progress tracking page. Fear I am terrified of water tanks, stepped wells, regular wells, temple tanks, over head water tanks, monolithic statues partially or fully submerged. I’m not fully scared of oceans, rivers, ponds or lakes. What I have is termed submechanophobia, but oddly enough I’m not too scared of watching documentaries of the Titanic Wreck. I’m absolutely terrified of looking at even photos or videos of the former stuff though. ...

A deeply personal journey of overcoming submechanophobia and childhood trauma to learn swimming at age 35. A story of facing fears, family trauma, and finding courage through the Litany Against Fear from Dune.

Note This post should have photos of the things I fear. It does not because I’m terrified to look at them. I do have photos of me in swimming gear and my pool, but by learning to swim, I have not conquered my fear. I merely face it. If you want the TLDR of this post, you might want to check out my progress table. Fear I am terrified of water tanks, stepped wells, regular wells, temple tanks, overhead water tanks, monolithic statues partially or fully submerged. I’m not fully scared of oceans, rivers, ponds or lakes. What I have is termed submechanophobia, but oddly enough I’m not too scared of watching documentaries of the Titanic Wreck. I’m absolutely terrified of looking at even photos or videos of the former stuff though. ...

Reflecting on a year of recovery from workaholism and hearing loss, finding gratitude, and planning a return to building projects and writing fiction.

I have been taking it easy for a year. I am a recovering workaholic. I used to work myself to death (and this could be why I lost my ear). I tend to get overly passionate about my job and pour myself into things, no matter what they are. It has to do with the common fallacy of tying self-worth to one’s career. I am trying to work on that. ...

One year anniversary of losing my hearing - reflecting on adaptation, family understanding, sleep challenges, accessibility, and moving forward with single-sided deafness.

It has been exactly one year since I lost all hearing in my left ear. A lot has happened. Note This post is a follow up to my hearing loss and about my health. Read the first and second articles before reading this one. I am not going to recount how I lost my hearing. I have written two posts about that already. However, this post is about the first major milestone I am crossing now. ...

Part 2 of my hearing loss journey - learning to adapt to single-sided deafness, getting hearing aids, and finding ways to move forward with one working ear.

I do not believe in luck. There is no such thing. Things happen and we must accept them or reject them. What we do defines us. Note This post is continued from Part 1: The Sound of Music. I knew my left ear would not work again. I had it for 32 and a quarter years. I used it well. I have to make do for the rest of my life with one ear. ...

The beginning of my journey with sudden sensorineural hearing loss - losing my left ear and learning to navigate a world with one functioning ear.

I don’t know the first thing about music. I learned how to play the flute as a kid. I didn’t like it. My mother wanted me to be a great flautist. I wanted to play the drums. I quit flute class after a year and never picked it up again. I never learned how to play drums either. I don’t believe in whatever some call destiny, fate or kismat. Things happen and the only thing I know I can control is how I feel about them. ...